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Men aren't the only ones.

I was sitting in a room filled with women last Friday night. Please tell me what feelings that sentence invokes in you...I'm curious. For me, it feels me with some dread. I myself am a woman but I find the company of many women, overwhelming. All of these women are good people and generally are looking out for my best interests. But then, I opened my mouth. When asked how I was doing I expressed that I was feeling a little crazy and frustrated with my kids. And that's when the advice started. There was good advice, bad advice and stories told about why it is ok to be feeling that way towards my children. There was also the advice; "The worst thing you could possibly do is put a movie on for your kids." Well, I disagree. All of this advice being given within a three minute period. (There were a lot of women). Everyone wanted to share sage advice and wisdom. I understand, I guess. Most of these women are moms and need to get out of the house too. We all need our opinion heard and validated occasionally. And maybe I am guilty of pushing an opinion or idea on someone when they really didn't want it.
Let me ask you women something though; isn't it a huge problem when men try and fix our problems when all we wanted to do was vent it out? I can tell you I have read several relationship books, several studies and personally heard with my own ears the truthfulness of this question. Women need to vent to release chemicals in their brain that help them deal with emotion that they are struggling to overcome silently. The solution in those books; at the very beginning of your statements express if you are venting or if you want the problem solved. I guess that was my unfortunate error. The "How are you?" question always gets to me. Are you asking me how I am really? If that is the case, please don't make me feel like I was foolish in answering honestly. If I want advice, I say "How do you handle this?" Sometimes I do want advice and I am not afraid of asking for help.
Hear me out friends! If we don't like it to happen to us, don't do it to anyone else. I will be watching myself more closely because last Friday night made me stop and think, I hate this, do I do this to other people?  If the answer is yes, I will flog myself and vow to do better.
PS I want to apologize to anyone that I adviced to death without permission. I'm sorry.
PPS It wasn't all awful advice. I'd just like to be a little more prepared for it.

Comments

  1. UnknownJuly 15, 2014 at 5:57 PM

    LOL, generally a room full of woman together is my own fault! I'm the party thrower of my group. but i get it and I'm sorry it happened to you.

    ReplyDelete

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